Day 68: Going for the big one

I got a kick in the gut this afternoon that immediately stopped my hours-long struggle to make a decision. My Allison transmission wore itself out and needs replacement. The initial move was to replace it with what was in there, the AT545. I was given an estimate of $2,000 plus labor of less than $1,000. Then I learned about the MT643, a bigger transmission with a locking torque converter that uses the engine to help slow down the bus, greatly helping the air brakes. (More of the stuff I never wanted to have to learn.) That estimate was $4,000, which included the higher cost of the tranny, plus some other parts and modifications needed to install it, and still roughly the same amount of labor. Those numbers had me in a place of fear. Of scarcity. Of what if. 

Intellectually, I thought the larger transmission would be what I most needed because although it’s was a bus, it is no longer picking up students around town with a lot of stop and go. While I have no desire to cross the Rockies or climb Mount Washington, there are many steep grades in New Hampshire and Vermont I will be traversing. And if it saved on brakes, it could pay for itself. 

What matters most to me is what my intuition tells me, and I was too full of static to get a message. Among those from whom I sought advice was Kim McFadden. I was leaning toward getting the larger one and  I texted something about how it’s my belief that you go big or go home. She immediately wrote back, “It’s more like, ‘Go big, it’s your home.’”

Right then, I just knew. The MT643 was the one to get, cost be damned. 

Seeing the two mechanics and owner standing together in the parking lot, and knowing they were waiting for my answer, I opened my window, leaned out and said, “I want the big one.” They begin pointing to each other and then all turned to a customer getting out of his truck and said, “He’s the big one.”

All our laugher was like the nectar of the gods, manna from heaven, silver moonlight shimmering on dark water. 

The Goddess is alive and magic is afoot. Blessed be.