This has been my view from my pillow the last three mornings. It will be tomorrow, too. I am doing my best to stay occupied and calm, so my brain doesn’t have as many opportunities to ask the question “when,” that I then gently change to a statement by adding “it’s time.” I am also embracing the me that wants to throw a fit and invite everyone to my pity party. I sit with her, thinking about party favors. From there I turned The Beatles song “Let It Be” into a prayer, singing at the top of my lungs to the metal, rubber, sand and fiberglas, complete with moving my body to the music for added energy, Three times through. Also this afternoon, I happened upon some photos of the skoolie community in Georgia to which I am longing to return. It occurred to me that the magic happens when you can see and feel yourself doing what you want to be doing where you want to be doing it. I’ve been seeing myself stuck here more than I’ve been seeing myself on the road, there, or anywhere else. Because, well, I am still here. To change that I looked at all my pictures, then closed my eyes and visualized everything as it would be outside my window at the camp. Where the shower was behind the tiny house, where each bus was in relation to mine, the fire pit, the road, the fence and this one especially magickal tree to which I offered gifts from my altar. It could be a portal to another realm. I will try to meld with it as I fall asleep tonight. Tomorrow I’ll sweep away the stagnant energy and repeat the process.

By the way, you’ll want to add the cost of a tachometer (that should arrive sometime tomorrow), a special tool to go with it (that hopefully also arrives tomorrow), and a modulator (that is being built and will get here when it gets here) to the estimate.