Day 109: Three more days


I had just finished sitting in the driver’s seat, visualizing my drive from here to the skoolie camp when I got the news that the tachometer and tool came yesterday, the modulator will be ready for pick up Thursday and work will begin on Friday … leaving no hope of being out of here before my birthday Saturday. I know I set myself up when I not so secretly wanted it. My desire. Again. That desire to impose my timetable. More to sit with and more time to do so. No coincidence. 


While I was in the driver’s seat, I watched a flock of more than twenty birds forming something of a circle out over what I think is pasture land where cows graze. As I watched them glide on the wind beneath their wings, that Bette Midler song started playing in my head. No coincidence because I feel wind beneath my wings, too. The love, energy, laughter, hugs and blessings coming steadily from a widening circle of family, sisters, friends and followers are all felt more than ever as I continue living full-time on my skoolie.

Everyone is reminding me I am where I am meant to be, doing what I’m meant to be doing … and I know that’s not worrying. It’s letting go and diving deeper. The very thing I am resisting is the only thing that will set me free. That situation replays yet again in my life as I get more time on this spiritual retreat timed pretty well with winter, midwinter and soon to be spring on the wheel of the year.