Day 50: Marking a Milestone

As I prepare to celebrate the Winter Solstice tomorrow, I was walking the property and finding very, very tall pines with very prickly cones. Back on Day 38, I remember asking for a pine cone or two. I asked for a cotton boll and received that as well. I also gifted myself a bouquet. As cold as it was last night, it got up to the mid-50s today. For the better part of an hour I sat in the sun, my feet bare on the ground, my skirt pulled up to my knees, my sweater sleeves pushed up to my elbows and my face turned up to the bright heat, listening to the wind. It was nice to “do nothing” after yesterday.

Fifty days seems like a milestone of note. It’s all still surreal. It doesn’t yet feel like a lifestyle, merely a long road trip. I absolutely love this space. From the fairy lights and the bohemian curtains to the white beadboard ceiling and the cozy bed nook, it’s all me. There are surprisingly few things I would modify, but there are some things yet to be done, such as getting a new driver’s seat, making the front part of the bus look nicer with paint at least, maybe adding a cupholder. Solar. Repainting the outside in a year or so. But so far, I am “doing it.” Sometimes when Karma and I are bouncing along, something will strike me and I’ll scream loud enough over the noise of the bus – so Pyewacket can hear me in the closet – “We’re doin’ it! We’re fucking doin’ it.” “It,” of course, being living the dream I held onto for decades. (And when I am not bleeding, I am pleased Pye is along for the ride.) Oh, there have been hours on end when I’ve been miserable, but not enough to give up. I’m allowing myself the winter and into spring to see if “it" is financially sustainable with Social Security as my primary source of income.