Day 116: Entomophobia

Today I have been preoccupied with fleas and ticks more than usual. I think I picked up sand fleas while in Florida – nothing too bad, but enough to be sure to kill everyone I could. I’m sure I missed some, based on the droppings I saw on the coverlet and while windowsills. Once I got to Georgia, I started noticing ticks, too, crawling on my ceiling, sitting on my bed, walking on the counter. I became obsessed. Amazon delivered Vets Best spray today, a plant-based formula that kills fleas, flea larvae, flea eggs, ticks and mosbuitoes. I dropped off all my bedding and dirty clothes at Soap & Suds, and while they were being washed and folded, I sprayed the skoolie from top to bottom. I misted pillows, shoes, curtains, cracks, clothes, rag rugs stored under the chest refrigerator, the scratching board Pye never uses. I wiped surfaces, sprayed the dust mop and ran that over the floor and sprayed it again before putting it away. 

Getting back to camp, I made the bed and sat down to rest, but I couldn’t rest … not when I saw black specks on my white surfaces that turned out to be ticks, fleas, spiders and I’m not sure what else. As a witch I honor all creatures that walk, crawl, fly or swim, but these I just can’t. These are giving me the heebie-jeebies. I’m usually not this bad, but then, there aren’t usually this many bugs in my life. I try not to think that I am murdering them. I think of it as preserving them eternity in tape – something I learned from my aunt Gloria. The picture shows a small portion of my collection … which does not yet include whatever showed up for a second on my computer screen just now. My arsenal includes packing tape, the spray bottle and paper towels to wipe up drips. I resprayed the bedding and the bedroom ceiling. I sprayed the windows that had been open.  

It’s awful. Every wisp of hair that brushes my neck, every itch on my back, every trickle of sweat under my arm, the hem of my dress brushing against my skin – feels like a tick and must be investigated. The floaters I don’t normally see in my field of vision are turning into bugs. Great! Now a mosquito has let itself in. If I had a hazmat suit, I think I’d wear it. At some point soon, I’m going to have to turn off all the lights, but while I might not see them, they’ll still be there. I will still feel them and will swear they are real. Here’s hoping setting up fans in the bedroom will blow them away, and the anti-anxiety medication kicks in soon so my entomophobia subsides enough to sleep.