Day 119: Bugs Out
The most beautiful cloudless blue sky made for a glorious today. Linda “My Christmas Gift” Bruce drove from the campground where she lives out to Jesup today so that we could go out to lunch and catch up on all that’s happened in the past two months. She also took me to the hardware store to get parts for bus repairs. I am waiting to hear back from a mechanic in North Carolina about doing the rear differential as soon as I can get there, and I washed everything Pye barfed on plus the few items that had accumulated since the big Soap & Suds treat. I enjoyed another outdoor shower while the sun still had a bit of warmth. Then I did a ritual cremation.
After my last post about the heebie-jeebies of ticks and fleas, and my frenzied efforts to get them gone, I read all the comments – and there were many. Three in particular struck me. Hard. Upside the head. One beloved sister wrote about the metaphysical meanings, which I had meant to look up but never did. Fleas being survivors remind us to adapt to survive … and I was in time and financial situations I was not adapting to with any type of ease, while ticks remind us not to let things get under my skin, and the time and financial situations very much were getting under my skin. In dissecting old beliefs as suggested, I realized I had gone back to negative thinking, believing in scarcity and not recognizing my own magic – three oracle cards I have hanging above my sink so long I no longer saw them. Two other dear sisters.gently suggested I pause to speak with the entities involved.
Tuesday (Day 117) I saw very few ticks or fleas. That evening I gathered up all the packing tape coffins, put them in the lap of my goddess, and poured out my heart … asking for forgiveness for killing these creatures. The reason I was so surprised to see a mosquito join them was because I remembered this past summer I had had a conversation with the spirit lords of mosquitos and horse flies, respectfully asking they honor my space on the bus and in return I would first give them the option to exit a door or window, but after that I was going to protect myself. Mosquitoes all but disappeared. I was able to let out many flies. Those I was unable to kill eventually made their way out … some in neighboring states. At any given time, I have from 0-3 flies, a moth and a couple of spiders, who are among my totem animals. My agreement with them is they can stay on the bus, they just have to stay away from me unless they have an urgent message for me to pay attention to … and then I ask that they please climb back up and away from me. Oh, and under no conditions were any insects given permission to bite.
My sincere one-way conversation last night with the lord of fleas and the supreme tick lasted a while. I acknowledged they were not there to intentionally wig me out, but merely to remind me of a few things I had forgotten. I promised to return to spirit and earth the bugs I had killed. Last night, I didn’t see one tick or flea. None today either, although I worried with I saw Pye scratching his chin a few times in rapid succession.
Tonight, just as the sun was rapidly sinking toward the earth, I dug a hole at the edge of the fire pit, placed in two sticks of palo santo, a bit of wax from a an altar candle and the half a dozen or so tape coffins. The fire from lighting the palo santo got hot enough to melt the wax and the tape. Blowing out the flames released an outpouring of sacred smoke as everything smoldered into ash. I then offered blessings and covered it with dirt. As weird as this must sound to many followers, it gave me a sense of peace, a sense I had honored their right to live and released my guilt for killing them because of my extreme annoyance and fear.