July 15: Gratitude Does It Again

A number of “reasons” ganged up on me this afternoon leaving me upset enough to declare a pity party. But before I could send out the invitations, I recognized I really needed to get to a happy place fast, and there hung my hammock chair. I was confident I could get in and out of it, so I found things to grab to very carefully lower myself into the seated position. There was an immediate sense of gratitude as I settled into a semi reclining, semi slanted sideways position, my head supported, ever so slowly swaying suspended between the worlds. I started naming all that I had not yet appreciated today: fresh flowers, air conditioning, much more mobility than I expected on post-op day 8, no more sharp pain deep in my butt with every step, the mural on one wall in my bedroom, the view outside of horses and goats eating grass in the sunny field, the shower I took this morning all by myself, dogs coming in to see if I need any plates licked clean, people sending me energy … and I completely relaxed and drifted into a napping meditation. I have no sense of how long I had been in that state when the phone woke me and the sensation of having been with my mother who died in 1999 faded into the mist. 

From that moment on, the world was different. Everything began working itself out with no effort from me. Desired outcomes were achieved. Things for which to be grateful multiplied. 

What was magickal was not that it happened, but that it happened so damn fast … and that I didn’t miss it.