DAY 1110: October 22 Plans That Never Happened

My stay at my grandmother's farm with family has been extended as I continue to get wound care every other day. I have decided to stay long enough to celebrate Samhain here on ancestral land rather than at a truck stop or a Walmart parking lot somewhere warmer. I began setting up an altar. In digging through bins, I came across copies of rituals I have previously done that I may modify.

I also came across a letter dated October 22, 1974 that changed the course of my life. My application for a "visa for entry to Australia for settlement" was deferred indefinitely. Friends I had made playing softball – Billy and Roger, and one of Roger's friends – and I were talking seriously about moving to Australia. I was ready to sell my car, pack up some clothes, and buy a one-way ticket to Sydney. Instead, I stayed with the man I was dating, eventually marrying him and having a family. After our divorce, a business trip took him to Australia. While it still calls to me, I don't expect to make it there in this lifetime.

In this lifetime, I was expecting to be leaving the Skoolie Swarm today, heading to North Carolina to mine crystals with a van life friend. I struggle with planning a drive south because I tend to get attached to the outcomes, which leaves me unhappy when life steers me in another direction. So I will do my best to remain open to all possibilities and embrace what lands in my lap.